Movie Re-Views with Ajax Green

Straight talk and deadpan jibes. Take a walk on the B side.

Thief (1981)

James Caan has never been better as the titular burglar in director Michael Mann’s crime-world masterpiece. Buoyed by the uncanny synth-rock of Tangerine Dream and great photography of gritty Chicago, “Thief” is still the template ...

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

“Look at these small town nerds!” this movie screams vindictively, “they’re just like the nerds you knew in school! Aren’t they hilarious?” Um, no. Granted, the mannerisms are perfect, but little else is: These characters ...

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001)

On paper, this is the best movie of all time: a rock band (“Slade Craven”) stages their last concert on a 747 in flight, but the singer is kidnapped and replaced with a satanic imposter, ...

The Killer Elite (1975)

James "Thief" Caan is the star of this Sam "The Wild Bunch" Peckinpah movie, and while it is not as bad as Bloody Sam's "Convoy," it's still a very bad movie. However due to the ...

Dead & Buried (1981)

A photographer goes to the beach to take pictures of sea glass with a fancy camera when a sexy lady approaches him and asks to be photographed. Soon her shirt goes missing and the photographer ...

Waterworld (1995)

This movie starts with pee-drinking. Scene 1: hero drinks his own pee! Granted it is filtered through a makeshift pee filtering device, but still! Gross, right? Kevin Costner is terrible as a hero in any ...