Movies with Ajax Green

Somewhere between film school and MST3K is a special place where the best and the worst movies are viewed with unabashed glee and gusto.

Thief (1981)

By Ajax Green / August 9, 2021 / 0 Comments

A hard-nosed safecracker creates a vision board. James Caan has never been better as the titular burglar in director Michael Mann’s crime-world masterpiece. Buoyed by the uncanny synth-rock of Tangerine Dream and great photography of gritty Chicago, “Thief” is still the template for what all crime movies could be, but aren’t (read: totally awesome). Caan […]

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Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

By Ajax Green / August 2, 2021 / 0 Comments

An awkward teen learns how to dance. “Look at these small town nerds!” this movie screams vindictively, “they’re just like the nerds you knew in school! Aren’t they hilarious?” Um, no. Granted, the mannerisms are perfect, but little else is: These characters aren’t even as well drawn as Beavis & Butthead. Napoleon and Pedro don’t […]

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Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001)

By Ajax Green / July 26, 2021 / 0 Comments

Marilyn Manson fights satanists at 10,000 ft. On paper, this is the best movie of all time: a rock band (“Slade Craven”) stages their last concert on a 747 in flight, but the singer is kidnapped and replaced with a satanic imposter, who is going to crash the plane into a church to open a […]

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The Killer Elite (1975)

By Ajax Green / July 19, 2021 / 0 Comments

A San Francisco mercenary spends a lot of time doing physical therapy. James “Thief” Caan is the star of this Sam “The Wild Bunch” Peckinpah movie, and while it is not as bad as Bloody Sam’s “Convoy,” it’s still a very bad movie. However due to the high star wattage of JC and Robert “with […]

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Dead & Buried (1981)

By Ajax Green / July 12, 2021 / 0 Comments

A small town finds a novel source of employees for low-wage jobs: the undead. A photographer goes to the beach to take pictures of sea glass with a fancy camera when a sexy lady approaches him and asks to be photographed. Soon her shirt goes missing and the photographer is just about to have the […]

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Waterworld (1995)

By Ajax Green / July 5, 2021 / 0 Comments

After the polar ice caps melt, life becomes aquatic. This movie starts with pee-drinking. Scene 1: hero drinks his own pee! Granted it is filtered through a makeshift pee filtering device, but still! Gross, right? Kevin Costner is terrible as a hero in any movie — if anything he should be cast as “bank clerk […]

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